For those that know me well, they would tell you that I struggle with relationships. I don’t like sharing my emotions, can lack gentleness at times, and tend to offer advice more than I listen. It’s not that I don’t care; I just don’t show it as much as I should. I’m thankful for the patience that my family and friends show as I strive to become a better friend.
I share this because I’m always looking for ways to grow in this area of weakness. About a year ago, I started focusing on one specific aspect of relationships and as a result I have seen it drastically improve my ability to care for those close to me. That area is context. I began to stop taking people and the things they say out of context and that has a made huge difference in my relationships.
Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo
To understand the importance of context, let’s take a lesson from studying the Bible. Hermeneutics 101 is to make sure that you don’t interpret a single verse of scripture out of the context in which it is found. In doing so, you can actually change the meaning of the verse and make false applications as a result.
Two of the most famous out of context verses are “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) and “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). If you just read those two verses and not the context they were written in then you would come to the conclusion that God will allow me to accomplish whatever I set my mind to and that Christians don’t go through hard times.
Let’s apply context to get the actual meaning. For Philippians 4:13, it is the concluding verse in a paragraph where the writer is speaking on contentment. He has learned to be content regardless of his circumstances because of the strength God gives. This verse doesn’t mean that God is going to give us supernatural strength to perform well in a sporting event, but He will give us the fortitude to persevere through hard situations.
For Jeremiah 29:11, there are two key pieces of context to fully understand the verse. First, this promise was directed specifically to the nation of Judah, not to individuals. Second, this promise would not be fulfilled until 70 years later (Jeremiah 29:10). Applying that information, the prophet is actually saying that the Judeans would continue to be exiled in Babylon for 70 years. During that time, some would face persecution and some would even die. But afterwards, God would restore the people of Judah back to their land so that they could be a nation once again.
Context is vital for proper interpretation of situations (and people).
Think about how many ways we take people out of context. I observe the way someone dresses or their first impression and make judgments. I have a 5-minute conversation with them and then create their entire back-story. Or based upon their religious affiliation, political stance, or involvement with a group I place unwarranted stereotypes on them.
There are times when it is appropriate to make these assumptions like in hiring situations. However, most of the time we don’t have a good reason to do so. And what I have found is that in many instances my assumptions lean towards negativity and are usually inaccurate.
I typically assume that the person is being rude for the sake of rudeness. But what if that is not the case? What if their rudeness is a result of hearing some devastating news? Maybe they are the mourning the death of a loved one, found out some tough medical news about a family member, or are having difficulties in a relationship. I’m not condoning their action of being rude, but if I knew their context or situation, then I would respond differently.
Context is vital for proper interpretation of situations (and people)
Click To Tweet
But usually I don’t. So what do I do?
I’m learning to be gracious with my family/friends and the people I come in contact daily. When you learn to assume the best, not let a few poor interactions stop you from investing in others, and become a student of their strengths not their weaknesses, you will strengthen your relationships.
Basically it’s the golden rule. Treat people how you want to be treated. We all want other people to celebrate our successes and be gracious in our mistakes. If you do this consistently, you will drastically improve your relationships.
Is there a person in your life that you have taken out of context? What is one thing you can do today to restore that relationship?
Tweetable Lesson: Be a student of people’s strengths, not their weaknesses